The Stadium Tour Rolls on Through...Madison, WI?

The Kohl Center in Madison was a good time so we'll stick around to provide a review of the Mad City's baseball stadium. "Baseball stadium?" you say. Perhaps we mean Milwaukee?

No. Madison's Warner Park is home to the Madison Mallards of the North Woods League. It's basically a bunch of college players staying in shape through the summer. As such, it can't compare to the professional and collegiate stadiums on the tour. So we won't score it. But it was a good enough time to recap here in the No Huddle Offense.

1. Access - Like we said when we headed to the Kohl Center, Madison isn't a hard town to get to. Warner Park is even easier. The Mallards are a pretty popular act in a college football, basketball and hockey town that is starved for athletics in the summer months. As such, you better get there early to find a parking spot.

2. Fans - I didn't expect much from the fans. The University of Wisconsin is the only school in the Big Ten without a baseball team. And there's no minor league team around. But this squad of amateurs draws a bigger crowd than many major league teams. The fact that many of the attendees are college students adds a fun element to the experience.

3. Exterior Architecture - It's an amateur park. There's really nothing to see. Except for a gigantic inflatable duck that graces the entrance of the park.

4. Interior Architecture - While the Mallards are nowhere near Big Leaguers, they definitely have talent. And dollar for dollar, it's some of the highest quality baseball you'll get to see for the price. The inside of the park is like a high school field; every seat is close to the action. As a result, the crack of the bat will never be louder.

5. Food - This looks like a good time to mention what brought us out to the Mallards game in the first place. Mrs. No Huddle Offense was out of town so my good buddy Jay and I planned on getting together, grilling some red meat and watching some baseball on TV. However, the recent flooding in Iowa moved a game against Waterloo to Madison. To draw a crowd for the last-minute change, the Mallards offered $12 tickets featuring all-you-can-eat brats, hot dogs, popcorn and soda. Like I told Jay, "I can't afford not to go!"

In fact, on the way to the park I told Jay, "If I don't have diabetes by the end of the game, this night has been a failure."

There is a caveat; the all-you-can-eat deal only extended through the first five innings. At first this seemed like a downer. Between Jay and I, four brats, two hot dogs, two popcorns and five sodas, the "five inning rule" seemed more like an act of mercy than a restriction. The food was delicious, but six days later my stomach is just starting to feel healthy again.

6. Surroundings - Nothing of note. There's a pretty ghetto Wal-Mart not far away, we guess.

7. Local Flavor - Like there should be at a Wisconsin baseball game, there's lots of grilled meat: brats, hot dogs, burgers, and other sausages. There's also a pretty impressive assortment of beers, including microbrewery offerings from New Glarus.

8. Team Prestige - We're talking about the Madison Mallards of the North Woods League. Rivals include the Green Bay Bullfrogs and the Wausau Woodchucks.

I dunno guys. You tell me...

9. Signature Quirk - Warner Park offers a pretty sweet section in right field where you can get an even greater all-you-can-eat spread than Jay and I got. Oh yea, it's also all-you-can-drink. Get your stomachs, bladders and livers ready.

10. History - The ballpark features a nice display of Major Leaguers who played with Madison before their pro careers. "Wow! I didn't know all these Major League players played here!" I excitedly told Jay when I saw the display.

"Oh, wait. I've never heard of any of these guys."

11. Atmosphere - If you've ever paid to see amateur or minor league baseball, you know the draw is in the atmosphere. You're not going to find a ton of baseball purists; you're going to find a lot of families with young kids looking for ice cream and mascots.

And the Mallards deliver in this department better than anyone. The team sports three mascots: two ducks and an anthropomorphic piece of chewing gum. (Your guess is as good as ours.) Out-of-play foul balls returned by kids earn a prize. After each inning, there's some sort of crazy, frenzy-inducing promotion. Karaoke. Races. Air guitar contests. Heck, foul balls are ever sponsored. Throughout much of the game, music is played. It's turned down as the pitcher begins to wind up and turned right back up as soon as the ball hits the catcher's mitt.

The entire game is an exercise in managed chaos. Everywhere I looked, something silly was happening. And I love it. I think I even developed a case of ADD to go with my diabetes by the end of the game.

Perhaps the most emblematic description of the atmosphere--and the quote of the night--came from Jay, who said, "I'm gonna hit the bathroom....I was gonna wait 'til the end of the inning, but I didn't want to miss the promotion."

Well said.