Stadium Tour: U.S. Cellular Field

Ah, U.S. Cellular Field. Or as we and most of the locals still call it, "New Comiskey." The ballpark has a reputation as a dumb because it sprung up right before the wave of retro brick-and-glass ballparks. But a recent makeover has really spruced the place up, and it's a nice--if expensive--place to catch a game. Let's take a closer look. Oh, and please enjoy the image and video links.

1. Access (5 points) - The Cell is as easy to get to as any Chicago attraction. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean much. Though the ballpark is right off the highway, you'll still have to battle city traffic. Fortunately, you can also take the CTA's Red Line, which drops you off right at the stadium. 3/5 points

2. Fans (5 points) - White Sox fans are a tricky bunch to describe. The atmosphere at the stadium was nothing less than electric following the team's 2005 World Series championship. The last two years, however, it's been a bit iffy. Some diehards, but a lot of lukewarmness. Furthermore, there are the bizarre incidents of fans attacking coaches and umpires. To top it off, the Cubs' favored status in the city places a gigantic chip on the collective shoulders of the fan base. Truly a unique situation. 2.5/5

3. Exterior Architecture (10 points) - U.S. Cellular doesn't offer a whole lot from the outside. As a result, there's not much to say other than the place isn't a complete eyesore. 2.5/10

4. Interior Architecture (10 points) - Upon attending my first game at "New Comiskey," my expectations were low. I'd always heard that the stadium was a disgrace compared to the architectural wonders built since the early 90s. So I was delighted to find out that the stadium's interior is quite pleasant. There's nothing particularly spectacular, but comfortable seats, good views, and cool earth tones provide a very calm, organic feel to the ballpark. The only complaint is that the upper deck is so far removed from the playing field that you might want to bring binoculars. 7/10

5. Food (10 points) - The Sox offer an impressive array of grease-filled delicacies. Beyond the standard hot dogs and pizza, the concession fare includes various kinds of sausages and all sorts of other goodies. Mrs. No Huddle Offense is partial to the Dove Bars. You won't go unsatisfied trying to eat at a White Sox game. 9/10

6. Surroundings (10 points) - The best I can say about the U.S. Cellular Field neighborhood is that I've never been stabbed leaving a game. The park isn't in a nice part of town, and there is absolutely nothing in safe walking distance worth visiting. Not getting stabbed earns the Cell a single point. 1/10

7. Local Flavor (10 points) - From the food (a plethora of sausage, pizza, and Italian beef) to the postgame music (Sweet Home Chicago), the White Sox do a nice job of incorporating Chicago culture into the stadium. Furthermore, if you sit in the upper deck, the walkways just outside the concourse provide a brilliant view of the skyline. 8/10

8. Team Prestige (10 points) - The White Sox are one of the oldest teams in baseball. They play in the third largest market. And they've won a World Series in the last three years. Sounds pretty worthy to us. 8/10

9. Signature Quirk (10 points) - Cubs fans throw the ball back. The Mets have their home run apple. But the best home run celebration in baseball is Comiskey Park's signature quirk: the exploding scoreboard. Whenever a White Sox slugger goes yard, the scoreboard's trademark pinwheels come alive, and home team lights up the sky with a frenzy-inducing fireworks display. 9/10

10. Atmosphere (10 points) - If the exploding scoreboard is the most exciting part of a Sox game, the player introductions are a close second. An increasingly dramatic video montage of the team's history plays on the scoreboard. As it reaches its crescendo, AC/DC's Thunderstruck blasts over the loudspeakers while the team takes the field. Fireworks and the scoreboard are, of course, involved. Words can't quite do it justice. I'm not even a Sox fan, and it gives me goosebumps. 7/10

11. History (10 points) - The Stadium isn't quite 20 years old yet so there isn't a ton of history. But there have been some great players, playoff runs and the magical 2005 World Series Championship. 6.5/10

Total: 63.5/100
Throw out your old primary school grading scales for these. Sixty points in not an F. We use the whole scale. So if 50 is average, Old Comiskey's 63.5 rating tells us that Chicago's South Side is a great place to take in a game.