No Huddle Offense on Hiatus

As you might have noticed, No Huddle Offense is on hiatus.

We look forward to returning with the best in sports analysis and commentary. Thank you!

Michael Phelps is the Greatest Athlete Alive

You may remember this winter we posed the question, "Is Tiger Woods the greatest athlete ever?" Of course our answer was a resounding no. It was our opinion that the designation of "greatest athlete" must involve a sport in which you have to increase your heart rate or at least break a sweat.

Every sport requires some combination of strength, speed, stamina, and precision. But some sports are simply more "pure" than others. Tennis takes more athleticism than NASCAR. Soccer takes more athleticism than diving. Boxing takes more athleticism than archery. You get the picture.

Enter Michael Phelps. In a sport that requires strength, speed, stamina, and precision (One mis-timed stroke can spell defeat), Phelps set the all-time record for gold medals in both a career and a single Olympic Games.

And he did so in every conceivable way. Phelps swam all four strokes. He won a 400-meter medley. He won a 100-meter sprint. He won five individual events and three relays. In some races, he dominated. In another, only teammate Jason Lezak's miracle swim kept Phelps' quest for history alive. And in yet another, Phelps trailed for all but a hundredth of a second: the race's last hundredth of a second.

Phelps' resume in the 2008 Olympic Games: Eight events. Eight gold medals. Eight Olympic records. Seven world records.

His march to history presented the best that sports has to offer. The drama was compelling and unscripted. The pressure was immense from the beginning, and it only grew. This was real reality television. Phelps faced the world's greatest swimmers and won not once, not twice, but eight times.

And that's why Michael Phelps is the greatest athlete alive.

Our Long National Nightmare is Over

"Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes....The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!"

Or so sayeth the Ghostbusters in the 1984 film. They might well have been prophesying August 7, 2008 in the Badger State. Indeed, the Favrepocalypse that had been foretold for weeks is finally upon us. And while the lakes turn to blood, the stars fall from the heavens, and Brett Favre dons a New York Jets jersey, Wisconsin looks for answers.

As you've undoubtedly heard ad nauseum by now, no other fan base has ever had such an intimate relationship with an athlete as Packer backers and Favre. For 16 years, Favre, the Packers and Wisconsin have been synonymous.

And so, more than anything else, Favre's move to the Jets creates an unprecedented crisis of identity for Cheeseheads. Who are we? And where do we go from here?

Many Packer fans have renounced Favre. A stunning reversal for a man who could have been elected governor in a landslide just six months ago. There exists a strong sense of betrayal. If Favre had simply taken his ball and gone home when he didn't get his way, all might be easily forgiven. But instead he took his ball and went to the big city. A cardinal sin in a blue collar state filled with small town pride.

Others have forsaken the Green and Gold. At least for now. One emailer to ESPN Radio wrote, "Brett Favre is the best thing to happen in my sports life. I'm shunning over 40 years of being a Packer fan to root for the Jets. Go to hell, Green Bay. Go to hell, Ted Thompson."

Perhaps the question Packer fans (and all sports fans for that matter) should ask ourselves is why we invest ourselves in a bunch of grown men playing a children's game in the first place? We do we spend time, money and emotion on players that leave for a rival city in the blink of an eye? What's the point of being a sports fan?

The answer to these questions just might be the only thing that can reconcile Favre, the Packers, and the fans torn apart by this ordeal.

We root because being a fan means being part of something that's bigger than us. We don't cheer for the Packers just because of Brett Favre or Donald Driver or Aaron Kampman or any other player. Rather, our fanhood is a celebration of our state's heritage and culture. It's a celebration of brats, beer and polka. It's an acclamation of a tiny town that has no business housing an NFL team somehow boasting the league's most storied team.

Favre is not bigger than the game or the team. He's simply one piece of a tradition steeped in history and excellence. A tradition to which he has contributed so much, but one he can never transcend.

So fear not, Packer fans; this, too, will pass. Many of the great ones left the teams that made them famous. Joe Montana. Michael Jordan. Jerry Rice. The list goes on and on. Even amongst Packer greats, this is nothing new. Curly Lambeau, the namesake of the beloved stadium coached his finals seasons with the Washington Redskins. Paul Hornung was traded to the Saints. Reggie White ended his career wearing a Carolina Panthers jersey. Even Vince Lombardi ended on another team's sidelines. But they're all remembered as Packers. And rightly so.

So will Favre be remembered as a Packer. These days are awkward, but in a year or two, all will be forgotten. Even if only in heart, he'll return. Favre was, is, and always will be a Packer at heart.

A Packer Fan's Thoughts on the Brett Favre Saga

For our first post back from an extended hiatus, we're lucky to have guest columnist Jim Jelinek's lucid and refreshing thoughts on the Brett Favre saga.

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Imagine telling your boss that you retired. After years and years of labor and strain on the body, you have finally decided to call it quits. A few months go by and you get a sudden urge to go back to work. (Mind you this is a dream job you have and not flipping burgers or bagging groceries.) You go back to your boss and ask him for your old job back. One of two things will occur:

1. Your position is still vacant, or there was no person qualified to take your position at the time, allowing your boss to welcome you with open arms.
2. Your position has been filled by your boss because he had to move the company forward with the knowledge that you retired. At best, the boss can offer you a lower position within the company.

Does this story sound familiar? It should since it has been going on since March. (However, if it does not, you probably still believe that chess should be a professional sport and Tiger Woods is prepping for the next major.) Brett Favre has turned the small city of Green Bay, Wisconsin upside-down and inside-out by asking Ted Thompson for his old job back--a job that was given to three-year backup Aaron Rodgers. I am a large Packer fan and grew up watching Favre make the impossible possible. Throwing a pass across his body while on the run was something to marvel at, and I actually can say I learned to throw a football that way because of him. That and the fine art of the shovel pass.

I also like to keep things in perspective. Favre is pretending to be a kid in a 38-year-old body. At some point he has to realize that he cannot play football forever, at least on the professional field (though I hear that the Arena Football League could use a face to promote the sport). In March, he broke down, and with tears in his eyes (as well as in Packer fans eyes nationwide), retired. He claimed that while he could still play the game at a high level, he was just emotionally and physically drained. As much as I hate to say it, I believe him.

Four months have passed and now Favre wants his old job back, placing the Packers in a uncomfortable situation. Do they bring Favre back as the starter and make Rodgers sit another season? Doing so would cause several problems, the biggest being Favre pulling this again after next season. Rodgers has the right to prove his value in the final two years of his contract, and another season on the bench would basically kill any chance the Packers had to resign him. After all, why would Rodgers resign with a team that could not cut ties with a man who refuses to give in to the inevitable? I also do not believe in the two rookie quarterbacks can pick up the offense quickly enough in two years should Rodgers leave town.

Should the Packers bring Favre back as the backup quarterback? That option pretty much kills Rodgers' chances on being a decent quarterback. Every time Rodgers would look over to the sidelines he would see Favre standing there, just waiting for him to blow a pass or misread a route and get back on the field himself. Some fans might not even go to games to watch the game, but to catch a glimpse of a Hall of Famer standing on the sidelines. That would be too much pressure for any quarterback in the NFL to handle.

Ted Thompson would also never consider just releasing Favre to free agency. Thompson likes his draft picks as much as Packers fans like their brats.

So the last option would be to trade Favre. But to whom? The consensus right now is to the New York Jets or Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but Favre does not want to play at either place. The craziest place to trade him would be within the NFC North Division. But crazy might not be a bad place to be to end this face-off. Sending Favre to Minnesota or Chicago (sorry Detroit, you have your own AARP member at quarterback) might be a good way to pick up some draft picks while cutting losses. Both teams are good and are in need of a competent quarterback. Neither have great receivers, though, making Favre shoulder most of the offense again. If Favre claims he can still play at a high level, send him to a division rival and make him prove it. It would not only make the rivalry the best that the NFL had ever seen, but Rodgers could put it on himself to beat Favre and end the speculation of Farve being a better quarterback option for Green Bay. And if the Packers cannot beat the team Favre lands on, they only have to wait a year or so before Brett finally hangs it up for good.

I had hoped that Favre would not have tried to unretire. I knew it would put both the team and Favre at odds, and nobody will be able to win at that. No player is or will ever be greater than the team itself, and Favre has to realize that. I remember Thompson being asked during a press conference whether he asked Favre for his input, and Thompson responded that the Packers are his team and not Favre's. I fully agree with him. Could you imagine what would have happened if the Dolphins organization asked for Marino's input on their running back situation?

I would like to see Favre take leadership with this ordeal and be the team player he used to be, when he renegotiated his contract several seasons in a row when the Packers needed room under the salary cap. Anybody who has seen or heard Favre knows it is not about the money. Dreams have to come to an end whether we like it or not because at some point we have to wake up to face the day. I will remember Favre with fondest memories, but the point is that the sun has set in Green Bay, and soon the gunslinger will have to ride off into the sunset.

When Your Sport's Popularity Rests Entirely on One Player, It's Probably Not a Good Thing

A week ago Tiger Woods completed what might become the most storied victory in PGA Tour history. Hobbling around with a torn ACL (which takes two years to heal for an NFL running back) and a double stress fracture, Woods won a 19-hole playoff to capture the US Open title over Rocco Mediate.

Just days later, Woods announced that he would undergo season-ending knee surgery. That flushing sound you hear is golf ratings going down the drain. The sport's ratings are entirely tied to the success of the greatest golfer in the world. Everyone else on the tour is merely the supporting cast. It's Tiger's world, and they're just golfing in it.

At this point, we can't help but to ask, how healthy can a sport be when it's popularity is entirely dependent on one player?

Are any other players on the PGA Tour even slightly interesting? With Tiger last weekend, golf was a television ratings giant. Without Tiger, golf would be slightly more relevant than the WNBA. We'd argue that this means the sport itself is simply not interesting to many people. Sports fans will tune in to see greatness at work, but unless something historically amazing might happen, they'll look elsewhere for entertainment.

In fact, you can diagnose the health of almost any sport in a similar manner.

American soccer is in the same boat as the PGA Tour. Nobody paid attention until David Beckham came over. Then again, we bet Major League Soccer's popularity would soar if a team signed Michael Jackson to play forward. It's just the nature of the celebrity culture we live in.

On the other hand, the NFL, far and away the most popular sport in the nation, is at the top of the sports food chain. An inconsequential late-season game between two 4-10 teams draws a greater audience than NBA or MLB Playoffs. Of course, star power always increases ratings, but the game is entertaining enough that fans will tune in to mediocrity in stunning numbers as well.

We love to make fun of NASCAR, but it's a healthy, popular sport, too. It doesn't matter if Earnhardt or Gordon wins. People still watch.

Need another example? How about the Olympics? Later this summer, we'll all tune into the Olympics, despite the fact that in four months none of us will remember any of the athletes' names. Now that's good TV.

Major League Baseball is a little less popular. It doesn't necessarily depend on specific players, but it does rely on specific teams. We're all sick of the Red Sox and Yankees, but there's a reason this rivalry is shoved down our throats: People are interested. Come October, America will watch the playoffs if the Cubs, Yankees, Cardinals, Dodgers or Cubs are involved.

If the Milwaukee Brewers and Tampa Bay Rays square off in the World Series (Don't laugh. It's more than possible.), we wouldn't be surprised to see the games pre-empted by "Bass Fishing With the Stars." (Thanks, Fox Network!)

Maybe we can catch the Fall Classic on ESPN 12--if they're willing to bump a re-run of the 1997 World Series of Poker.

But take heart, PGA Tour executives. Not all is lost. Be thankful you're not running the NBA, where even talented stars aren't enough to drive ratings. Tim Duncan is one of the greatest players in basketball history. But when his Spurs are in the NBA Finals, it's a ratings disaster. It's not enough to be great in the NBA. You also have to be interesting.

And when all seems lost, at least you're not running the NHL, where nobody finds the game, the teams or the stars even the slightest bit interesting.

The Stadium Tour Rolls on Through...Madison, WI?

The Kohl Center in Madison was a good time so we'll stick around to provide a review of the Mad City's baseball stadium. "Baseball stadium?" you say. Perhaps we mean Milwaukee?

No. Madison's Warner Park is home to the Madison Mallards of the North Woods League. It's basically a bunch of college players staying in shape through the summer. As such, it can't compare to the professional and collegiate stadiums on the tour. So we won't score it. But it was a good enough time to recap here in the No Huddle Offense.

1. Access - Like we said when we headed to the Kohl Center, Madison isn't a hard town to get to. Warner Park is even easier. The Mallards are a pretty popular act in a college football, basketball and hockey town that is starved for athletics in the summer months. As such, you better get there early to find a parking spot.

2. Fans - I didn't expect much from the fans. The University of Wisconsin is the only school in the Big Ten without a baseball team. And there's no minor league team around. But this squad of amateurs draws a bigger crowd than many major league teams. The fact that many of the attendees are college students adds a fun element to the experience.

3. Exterior Architecture - It's an amateur park. There's really nothing to see. Except for a gigantic inflatable duck that graces the entrance of the park.

4. Interior Architecture - While the Mallards are nowhere near Big Leaguers, they definitely have talent. And dollar for dollar, it's some of the highest quality baseball you'll get to see for the price. The inside of the park is like a high school field; every seat is close to the action. As a result, the crack of the bat will never be louder.

5. Food - This looks like a good time to mention what brought us out to the Mallards game in the first place. Mrs. No Huddle Offense was out of town so my good buddy Jay and I planned on getting together, grilling some red meat and watching some baseball on TV. However, the recent flooding in Iowa moved a game against Waterloo to Madison. To draw a crowd for the last-minute change, the Mallards offered $12 tickets featuring all-you-can-eat brats, hot dogs, popcorn and soda. Like I told Jay, "I can't afford not to go!"

In fact, on the way to the park I told Jay, "If I don't have diabetes by the end of the game, this night has been a failure."

There is a caveat; the all-you-can-eat deal only extended through the first five innings. At first this seemed like a downer. Between Jay and I, four brats, two hot dogs, two popcorns and five sodas, the "five inning rule" seemed more like an act of mercy than a restriction. The food was delicious, but six days later my stomach is just starting to feel healthy again.

6. Surroundings - Nothing of note. There's a pretty ghetto Wal-Mart not far away, we guess.

7. Local Flavor - Like there should be at a Wisconsin baseball game, there's lots of grilled meat: brats, hot dogs, burgers, and other sausages. There's also a pretty impressive assortment of beers, including microbrewery offerings from New Glarus.

8. Team Prestige - We're talking about the Madison Mallards of the North Woods League. Rivals include the Green Bay Bullfrogs and the Wausau Woodchucks.

I dunno guys. You tell me...

9. Signature Quirk - Warner Park offers a pretty sweet section in right field where you can get an even greater all-you-can-eat spread than Jay and I got. Oh yea, it's also all-you-can-drink. Get your stomachs, bladders and livers ready.

10. History - The ballpark features a nice display of Major Leaguers who played with Madison before their pro careers. "Wow! I didn't know all these Major League players played here!" I excitedly told Jay when I saw the display.

"Oh, wait. I've never heard of any of these guys."

11. Atmosphere - If you've ever paid to see amateur or minor league baseball, you know the draw is in the atmosphere. You're not going to find a ton of baseball purists; you're going to find a lot of families with young kids looking for ice cream and mascots.

And the Mallards deliver in this department better than anyone. The team sports three mascots: two ducks and an anthropomorphic piece of chewing gum. (Your guess is as good as ours.) Out-of-play foul balls returned by kids earn a prize. After each inning, there's some sort of crazy, frenzy-inducing promotion. Karaoke. Races. Air guitar contests. Heck, foul balls are ever sponsored. Throughout much of the game, music is played. It's turned down as the pitcher begins to wind up and turned right back up as soon as the ball hits the catcher's mitt.

The entire game is an exercise in managed chaos. Everywhere I looked, something silly was happening. And I love it. I think I even developed a case of ADD to go with my diabetes by the end of the game.

Perhaps the most emblematic description of the atmosphere--and the quote of the night--came from Jay, who said, "I'm gonna hit the bathroom....I was gonna wait 'til the end of the inning, but I didn't want to miss the promotion."

Well said.

Link of the Day: Sneaking Beverages into the Stadium

When Christmas comes around, my family always wants to know what I'd like for Christmas. Invariably, though I'd like a great many things, I can never think of what to tell them.

Enter the Beer Belly. A cooler built to look like a beer gut so you can sneak it into the stadium rather than pay $3 for a soda or $6 for a beer. No matter what anybody else says, this is proof positive that capitalism is a great, great way to run the economy.